"Pop
Life"
Chapter 84
I climb onto a pedestal that raises me up to stage level. The band is playing a random melody and I have on a baby blue skirt with a white cotton button down shirt that's tied up at my belly.
"You know..." I start walking down the stage toward the catwalk. "I've been very lucky to have a wonderful supportive family. They know what it's like to be me," I chuckle, "in these circumstances. It means a lot to me to have them here tonight..." I reach the catwalk and start to walk toward the front of it, touching people's hands along the way. "I'm especially glad because I have a little surprise...I wanted to do something on this tour that paid respect to the most important woman in my life." I take a deep breath so that my voice doesn't break. "She inspired me with her music, with her talent, but mostly with her love." I stop in the center of the catwalk, closest to the VIP area. "And I just wanted to show you, how much I appreciated that."
I see mama wipe a tear away. Daddy looks down at her and rubs her arm a little. He says something to her and she smiles and nods.
I hand the microphone to one of the dancers and Baby One More Time starts to play. The crowd goes nuts. For this number I only have a couple of dancers behind me. I pull my headset mic up and adjust it and start to sing. The next song in the medley is Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know and then I pick it back up again with Oops, I Did it Again. Most of the routines are performed on the front of the catwalk but when I start to sing Not a Girl, I walk back around the catwalk the other way and touch hands along the way. At the end of that part of the song, one of the dancers comes up to me in the middle of the big stage and rips part of my skirt so that there's a slit in it and I take off the white shirt to reveal a baby blue sequined bra/top and Slave 4 U starts up. For this song, I wanted to keep the choreography the same as my mama did it. I end the medley with my mama's biggest hit after she took a short break and came back a year or so later...it's a ballad called I'll Never Let Go and she told me she wrote it about her relationship with daddy after they took their break and got back together again. When I finish the song, the lights go out and I run off stage to change my costume.
Only two more songs left and my first show as a headliner is over. It went so quickly.
I end the show with Wanted. I didn't redo the choreography to this song because I love it the way it is. When the song is over, I run around to each side of the stage and wave to the audience, saying goodbye. Then my dancers and I skip down the catwalk to the front and continue to wave and touch hands.
"Thank you," I say. This time I look into the VIP area where everyone is on their feet. I can't believe they stayed through the whole thing and didn't get escorted back before the crowd leaves.
"I love you all...thank you so much for coming out."
We skip down the other side of the catwalk and then I look one last time at the huge crowd, with the venue lights up and take in the sight. They're all here for me. Suddenly I feel overwhelmed. With one last wave I disappear.
Andre is right there waiting for me so he can escort me to my limo. We're having a get together back at the house right after this.
When the house lights come on Justin stands up and talks to Lance. Ashleigh walks over to them and holds onto Justin's hand. Cody's talking to Brad.
"She's really amazing up on stage. I still can't get over it every time I see her perform," Lance says shaking his head.
"I know. I have to pinch myself sometimes when I see her. It's like, is that really my little girl up there? The one who's scraped knees I bandaged?" Justin laughs.
They talk a little more and wait for the crowd to disperse. Justin looks around at the others standing in the VIP area and realizes he doesn't see his wife. He looks over at the couch and she's just sitting there.
"Hey, what are you doing?" he asks when he sits back down next to her.
"She's so...so...grown up. Watching her tonight, I feel like I lost my baby."
Her eyes were watery.
"Sweetie, we've seen her perform before."
She looks at him. "But this whole show, the whole setup was about her. She was so amazing. I can't get over how amazing she is. I'm not just biased 'cuz I'm her mama, am I?" she asks with a pleading look.
Justin takes her hands and smiles. "No, she is amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her daddy."
"When she did that medley of my songs...I thought I was going to loose it."
"I know," he says softly, leaning into her a little bit.
"But I did okay. Her voice sounded so rich and strong. She was amazing singing I'll Never Let Go." She laughs. "I use that word a lot."
He smiles. "Well that's because that's what she is."
"It should be safe to go back now," one of the security guards tells them.
"Ash, sweetie, where are you?" Britney asks.
"Right here mama."
"Okay, hold my or daddy's hand," Britney says standing up.
She grabs Britney's hand and they all file out behind security to the backstage area.
"Will sissy be in her dressing room?" Ashleigh asks.
"No, she's probably on her way home right now," Britney says.
"Okay."
"Well, what did you think?" Justin asks Brad as they walk through the backstage area.
"This was my first time seeing her show from this angle..." he starts.
Justin nods.
"And I am speechless. It seemed different than her previous shows, didn't it?"
"Different how?"
"I don't know. She's more in control now...more mature. I mean this in a good way. In a very good way," he smiles.
Justin pats him on the back. "Yes, she's grown up a lot since her first time as an opening act for Marcus."
"That she has."
"You're coming back to the house with us, right?"
"I'd like that, thank you sir. I uh..." he hesitates.
"What?"
"I took a cab from the airport here so I don't have a ride."
"Don't worry, we'll get you there somehow."
Brad smiles.
I sit on my bed after taking a quick shower and drying my hair. I'm putting my makeup on now when I hear people starting to talk downstairs. They're here. My heart starts to beat a little faster. I can't wait to hear what they thought about the show.
I finish putting on my eye shadow when there's a soft knock on the door.
"Come in."
Mama opens the door and walks into the room. She's got a huge smile on her face.
"Hey mama."
"Hi baby."
She opens her arms up and I set my makeup case down and walk into them.
"The one word that keeps coming to mind is amazing. I can't think of another word to use for you."
"Thanks," I say into her hair.
"I mean it," she says pulling me away to look at me. "I'm so proud of you."
"What did you think of the medley? Were you surprised?" I ask taking her hands.
"Yes," she laughs. "Very. I loved the choices and you sounded great. You sounded better than me."
"Mama...I did not."
"I think the most beautiful you sounded was singing I'll Never Let Go. Your voice was very powerful during that song."
I bow my head a little bit. "Daddy helped me with my vocals on that song."
She nods. "He knows how to find the strengths in people's voices and focuses on that."
"It was good for me to work with him for this tour."
"You ready?"
"Almost. I'll be right down."
She leaves the room and I smile. I was so glad she loved the medley. I wanted that to be special for her.
When I go downstairs, everyone's gathered on the patio. There are a ton of lights around the outskirts of the patio and by the pool.
"Here's the star of the night," Uncle Lance says when he sees me walking outside. He walks over and gives me a big hug.
"Thanks," I say laughing because everyone is cheering and applauding.
I make my way around to everyone. Almost all of my *Nsync family is here. My Grandma Lynn and Grandpa Paul are here. Uncle Bryan and Aunt Lauren are here. A few of my cousins are here. It's just one big party.
"I was wondering where you were," I say when I finally find Brad. He's standing in the corner of the patio watching the scene in front of him.
"I was just watching you with your family," he says wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me. "There...since your stage lipstick is gone," he smiles.
"Just what I was waiting for. Now you've got lip gloss on your mouth," I giggle as I wipe the gloss from his mouth.
"Mmmm, strawberry," he says licking his lips.
I nod.
"I have to say, I always enjoyed watching your show from behind..."
I laugh.
"But I like seeing you perform your show the way it should be performed. I'm not telling you anything you haven't already heard tonight but I was just in awe watching you."
"Thanks," I say leaning into him. "I was nervous. Could you tell?"
He shakes his head. "Not at all. Once you hit the stage you're in a different world, aren't you?"
I nod. "Something like that. Something just clicks."
"I feel the same way."
"So how is recording going since I last talked to you?"
Someone laughs really loud behind me, which makes others laugh. Brad glances behind me and smiles.
"It's good. We have one more song to record and then they'll work on touching it up. The first single should be out any week now."
"Really?"
He nods.
"That's exciting. Have you come up with a name yet?"
He groans. I know this is a sticky situation with the band.
"We're thinking about changing it weekly," he laughs.
"Well, I don't think that's been done."
"Nope. I think it would also confuse the hell out of people."
We talk for what seemed like hours. Eventually the crowd thins out.
"I'm taking Ash to bed and then I'm going to go to bed too," mama says to me.
"Okay."
I turn around and hug her. "Thanks for being there tonight."
"I'm going to be to as many of them that I can be."
"Night sissy," Ashleigh says, tugging on my shirt.
I lean down and give her a big hug. "Good night. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
She giggles. "I won't."
"Good night Brad," mama says giving him a hug. "I'm glad you could be here for her first show."
"Thanks ma'am...me too."
Ashleigh waves to him and they both go into the house.
Brad and I walk over to a group of people who are talking about a movie they just saw. Uncle Lance strikes up a conversation with Brad so I join in on the conversing.
Eventually everyone leaves or goes to bed, which leaves Brad and I alone on the patio. He pulls me into his arms and we start to sway.
"What are you doing?" I ask as I rest my cheek against his.
"Dancing."
"I see that. To what song?"
He starts to hum a song that I don't recognize.
When he finishes humming I pull back from him a little.
"That was beautiful...what was it?"
He brushes the hair from my shoulder and rests his hand on my shoulder so that his thumb is on my cheek and the rest of his hand is behind my head.
"It's the song we just recorded."
"I like the melody...I can't wait to hear the lyrics."
"I wrote it."
"You did?"
He nods.
"What's it called?"
"My Heart."
"Why don't you sing it to me?"
He shakes his head. "No, I'm not lead singing material..."
"Come on, I've heard you sing before."
"Yeah, loudly to the radio...there's a difference. When you hear this song I want it to be right."
"But if you wrote it, I think I want to hear it from your lips," I say before gently kissing his mouth.
He pulls me closer with the hand that's already behind my head and opens his mouth. He nudges my lips open with his tongue. We kiss deeply. My hands grab the back of his shirt as I loose myself in this kiss. I can tell that my breath is starting to get ragged. The way he's moving with me is really turning me on. I link one of my legs around the outside of his so that I can try to get closer to him. Before I realize it, I'm starting to grind a little bit into his leg as we continue our kiss.
He pulls back. "Whoa, we need to stop," he says breathlessly.
"But I was just starting to have fun," I whimper.
He pulls my leg away from his, takes my hand and we sit down.
"Yes, I could tell," he chuckles. "I couldn't handle it anymore."
"Oh," I say biting my lower lip. "What time is your flight tomorrow?"
"Seven am."
"Oh...well..." I look at my watch. "It's really late. I guess we should go up and go to bed then."
"What are your plans tomorrow?"
"We're leaving for San Diego tomorrow evening but the rest of the day is mine."
"Well I can sleep on the plane. So, we can stay up as late as we want."
I smile. "Oh, there's something I wanted to show you. Come on."
I grab his hand and we go inside and then up the stairs. I lead him to my room.
"What are you doing?" he chuckles.
"I'm looking for this picture that mama found. Oh, here it is."
I pull out an old photo of mama, daddy and George and show it to him. "Ohh that's great," he says with a big smile on his face.
"That was while daddy was on tour. Mama and daddy weren't even married yet."
I walk over and close the door and then go sit on my bed.
"Come here..." I say patting the spot on the bed next to me.
He looks at me carefully and then walks over and stands next to the bed.
"Come on, I won't bite," I laugh.
"I don't know if this is a good idea..."
"Brad, we're going to talk."
"I know but...I can only look at you so long before I feel the need to kiss you and then on your bed...I don't know where that will lead."
I lean over and pull his hand so that he sits down.
"Justin," Britney says, shaking his shoulder. "Brad's not in the guest room."
"Huh?" he asks wiping his eyes, since she just woke him up.
"His cab is here and he's not in the guest bedroom."
"Did you go ask Adriana where he might be?"
She gives him a pleading look.
"Okay, I'll go look for him in a couple of other rooms while you go ask Adriana."
They walk down the hall, stopping at Adriana's room. Britney knocks on the door and then opens it.
"Oh no," she says when she sees Adriana and Brad sleeping in her bed.