Jealous Guy
by Danielle 

Clusters of smoke get into his eyes, and he shuts them tightly to try to avoid becoming temporarily blind. Blaring music along with the scent of liquor, hits his senses. They said this club was off the hook, but already he regrets walking in here. Dancing women grab his attention instantly, and his instincts start to take over.

A free night of complete bliss rests on the dance floor. He is suddenly glad that he came. And he wastes no time, as he walks over to the lit area of the club.

“Hey Justin, I am going to a drink.” Tracy pats his shoulder before turning away to go to the bar. “Get me one too, man,” Justin calls back as he retreats back.

It isn’t long before women are surrounding him while he moves his hips in a way that makes all the ladies melt. He loves his kind of attention.

With an attracted brunette and a few blonds grinding with him to the music, his eyes wander to the second floor balcony. His eyes are drawn to the small but wild figure dancing on the table. Her radiant smile shines through the dark allowing him to recognize her instantly. He raises his eyebrow slightly as he watches her moves.

Those low rise jeans, he swears, were about to slide down to reveal that delicious butt of hers. She laughs with her mouth open when she almost slips, causing Justin to shake his head with a smile. He squeezes away from the skin of the girls he was dancing with to go see her. He starts to climb the stairs, but then stops in his tracks when he catches him and her in an embrace.

The dark haired man has her locked in his arms. She clings to him, with her head on his shoulder and hands wrapped around his waist. Their foreheads touch to plant a kiss on each other’s lips.

Justin cringes. He turns back, feeling defeated.  

His pulse is increasing, and….shit, he mutters, as he realized that his hands are shaking.  

Repeating every curse word he knew in his head, he meets Tracy at the bar. His best friend notices the discomfort by the way he runs a hand through his shaved head. “What’s stressing you, man?” he asks, handing her the bottle of the beer.

“Nothing….Britney’s here,” Justin confesses her name in a low voice. He takes a swing of his beer, and then looks at Tracy ’s expression. His friend shrugs his shoulders before putting his drink down.

“Come on, don’t let a crazy ex ruin your night,” Tracy says, nudging his arm. “Right,” Justin says with half a smile. But somehow he couldn’t get the image of her out his head.

“Another drink, please?” he asks the bartender for another round. He feels better when there is a haze in his eyes, when he is unable to feel anything. Right now, he didn’t give a fuck about her.

A few hours into the night and, he can’t walk straight so he his back meets the wall to brace himself.  In his view, he can spot Tracy talking to the entourage that he so generously invited him with and took the time to liquor up.

And then there was her. Yes, she is still in the same spot only this time she can’t stop gazing in to the man’s eyes. Justin remembers that look of hers. That beautiful glow in her eyes was once meant for him.

Losing control, his knuckles turn while as his fists spasm in a tight ball. His eyes roll back to look through a slide show of their love, when she was once worth living for. Each scene brings him back to the way he used to cradle her in his arms. Their roaming hands on each other while under the covers…and in the shower.

His remembrance is interrupted when Tracy yells his name, “Justin, get more drinks!” And he is suddenly upright and on his feet, trying to make his way through the crowd without falling.  

Justin orders the drinks while leaning on the bar, telling the bartender where to send them to. “Excuse me sir, I didn’t ask for those bottles of liquors upstairs…” that familiar voice causes him to turn around. She stands there astonished, becoming adapted to seeing her ex-boyfriend so unexpectedly. “Justin,” she says his name with a surprised expression.

“Britney…nice to see you,” he tries to act sober as he leans down, wrapping her in one arm as a welcome. But she doesn’t miss the pungent smell of alcohol in his breath; she chooses to avoid the scent since she was a little drunk herself.

“Nice to see you too, Justin.” She smiles, and then brings her attention to the bartender who says that he will fix the mistake immediately. Britney turns to him again, feeling a little jittery as her hands clasp together.

“So who is the lucky guy?” he didn’t mean to ask, but at the moment he didn’t care what comes out of his mouth.

“You mean, Jade. I’ve only been with him for 2 weeks,” she says, then starts to chew on her bottom lip, wandering if those were the right words to say.

“You guys seem really into each other,” he knew he was pushing it, but he couldn’t keep the statement to himself. He wanted her to prove him wrong.

“Well, he is a great guy,” she says with a strange look on her face. Her eyes squint at him as if they were in a search to find something she once lost in him.

“So tell me, does he touch you like I do? Does he make you come each night?” he grasps her arm to whisper the last question in her ear.

She pulls back instantly, starting at him with a disgusted expression. Britney’s forehead wrinkles at him as her mouth open to protest. Only he doesn’t let her…

“Hey Brit, tell me when he finds out how many times you cheated on him…” his voice begin to get louder, drawing attention. It’s not until he sees her tears that he shrinks, slightly ashamed.  

“Fuck you,” she grunts, walking out of his sight. She wasn’t ready to make this a public affair, and she was already bawling her eyes out anyway. Goddamn him, she thought.

“That went well,” Tracy sarcastically says as comes up to Justin after witnessing the cruel reunion. Justin has his hand on his forehead, trying to forget what had just happened. He couldn’t stop his lips from shivering, and he didn’t know why. Must be the liquor, he thought.

“We need to get out of here,” he tells Tracy .

Tracy agrees and tells him to meet him at the exit in five minutes.  Justin climbs up the stairs quickly to retrieve his coat. He then catches a glimpse of her in a dark corner with her body guard looking down at her with sympathy. She was sobbing.

Trying to make her notice him, he walks into her view but it so no use; she never looks up. He is sorry to have inflicted this much pain in her. She hurt him once, but he never thought he will be the one doing the same to her.

“I’m sorry, Brit.” He whispers the words to himself, remembering how those words could trigger her back into his arms. But that was then, and this is now. They are separated by webs of destructive words and actions that have left scars in their hearts.

Then again, he was drunk. He will typically turn away with a guilt stricken heart in a situation like this if he was sober. But he decides to apologize to her because he knew that he will go insane tonight if he didn’t.

“Justin, she doesn’t want to see you….” Mo begins to tell him, restraining himself from not carrying him out of his way. “Just give me five minutes, and I swear that I’ll leave her alone…just come on,” he pleads with the alcohol still in effect.

“You have two minutes,” she says, suddenly appearing to him. Justin stares at her irritated eyes. Mo steps a few steps back, but stays close.

The music didn’t hit this part of the club that hard, so he was relieved to not having to yell over the music. He never liked it when she cried; it always caused him to break.

“You know Brit, I never was the guy to have insecurities but you were the first to challenge me. And I am sorry that I made you cry tonight….” He takes a deep breath. He then swallows hard, keeping all his words contained inside his heart. He had so much to say to her, but he probably would never have the chance to say the words.

“You were jealous?” she asks him, and he can see her eyes suddenly widen. She was shocked to see that he can be that way; it almost gave her a sense of comfort because he still cared.

“Yeah...because you were kissing him and they way you were holding his hand....I just lost it,” he says softly, looking down at his feet. She sniffs before leaning up to give him kiss on the cheek then whispering in his ear, “I am sorry for hurting you too, J.”

Justin eyes water as he nods his head, “Well, I have to get going.” She then takes his hand to pull him closer. The attraction is too great for him to resist as they are lured into each other for a kiss.

When she pulls back, he opens his eyes. “Just stay with me tonight,” he confesses his only yearning…her. With glossy eyes, she nods her head. And held on to his jealous hand.

I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was trying to catch your eyes
Thought that you was trying to hide
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy, watch out
I'm just a jealous guy, look out babe
I'm just a jealous guy