Careless Mistake
by Kelli
Part 69
August 2006.......
"We know this is a lot of information to take in," Dr. McNabb said.
Justin and Britney were sitting in a private waiting room on the Pediatric Ward of Memorial hospital with three other doctors, one of them being Chase's Pediatrician.
"It is, but we want to make sure we do what's best for Chase in the long run...." Britney said.
She and Justin were sitting next to each other on a couch, holding hands.
"Basically we want to know what his chances of walking are," Justin said.
Dr. McNabb looked over at Dr. Wellington who was the pediatric neurosurgeon.
"The operation we've mentioned will give Chase an eighty percent chance of walking and running like a normal little boy....with physical therapy," Dr. Wellington replied.
"But this is the operation that has the most risks..." Britney said.
"Right now there is a lot of fluid pushing up against his spinal cord, right here," he said, pointing to a diagram of an infant's skeleton. "Our main concern was that it was blood but one of the tests we did on him showed that it was only about thirty percent blood. So that lessens the risks of the surgery. The next main concern is the delicate operation involved because it does affect his spine. Any mishap or if his body doesn't react to the surgery the correct way could cause permanent paralysis."
Britney gave Justin a worried look so he patted her hand while he stared at the doctors.
"What was the other procedure you were talking about?" Justin asked.
"We drain the fluid which is causing a lot of pressure to his spine and the nerves around his spine and do a lot of physical therapy. The odds of him walking by just doing that are at about forty percent because we can't be entirely sure that that's what's causing his current paralysis," Dr. McNabb said.
"Is he in any pain right now?" Britney asked with tears glistening her eyes.
Dr. McNabb shook his head slowly. "There's a discomfort I'm sure but he can't really feel from his wait and below right now. We are giving him tiny doses of pain medication just to help him be more comfortable, but it's not a lot by any means."
Britney nodded and wrapped her arm through Justin's so she could sit closer to him.
"You said we could get another opinion from another neurosurgeon," Justin said turning to their pediatrician.
"Yes, of course. I have already contacted two pediatric neurosurgeons from Cedars-Sinai already. Dr. McNabb has been kind enough to send them the x-rays and test results to them. I should hear back from them by tomorrow," he said.
"Thank you," Justin told him. "What if we try removing the fluid first and if that doesn't help then we have the surgery done? Is there a possibility of that?"
"The longer we wait the less of the chance of the surgery being successful so that's not my recommendation."
"What would you do?" Britney asked Dr. Wellington.
He looked down at his folded hands and then back up and Justin and Britney. "I would go ahead with the surgery. I've done these many times and I've never had a problem. I always throw the chances of the risks involved because there can be extraordinary circumstances in any case but I feel confident that this will work for your son."
Justin gave a quick nod and covered Britney's hand with his own.
"Thank you. We'll let you know what we decide once we hear from the other doctors," he said as he started to stand up.
All three doctors stood up and shook both Justin and Britney's hands before they left the room.
Once the door shut Britney turned and leaned against the table so that she was facing Justin.
"I am leaning toward surgery....."
He stared at a tablet of paper on the table that was next to her right hip and he nodded. "Yeah...."
"You don't sound convinced," she said.
Justin rubbed his forehead. "He's strong, Brit...." he said, finally looking up at her.
"Right," she agreed.
"I think if we just have the fluid drained and a lot of physical therapy and tons of encouragement from us and our family and friends we can get him to walk....." he said with pleading eyes.
She reached out and touched his arm. "That's not always how it works...."
He briefly closed his eyes and looked away. "I know."
She stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest. After a few seconds he wrapped his arms around her and they stood there for a few minutes.
"I don't want to make the wrong decision...." he said softly. "I'm so used to always making the right ones."
She smiled. "Yeah, you have that annoying quality."
He started to rub her back.
"We'll wait until we hear from the other doctors before we worry about this, right?"
She pulled away a little and looked up at him. "Right," she nodded.
He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss.
"Let's go see him again before we leave," she said.
They walked out of the room, hand in hand.
~*~
"I wish I could hold him," Britney said, looking down at Chase in his hospital crib.
She started to stroke his cheek as he stared up at her. She smiled at him and something changed in his eyes.
"He's smiling back at me, I can tell," Britney said, as she held back tears.
Justin stood on the other side of the crib and smiled at the sight. "You're right...you can see it in his eyes. Hey there big guy," he said.
Chase's arms were strapped down so that he couldn't move them and make things worse but he could move his fingers and he started to wiggle them.
Britney grabbed onto his thumb and started to wiggle it a little.
"There you go.....you want to move so bad, don't you? We promise, you will be able to soon."
The nurse at the desk nearby smiled as she overheard them talking to Chase.
"I have a question.....it's usually not good for circulation to just lay still like this for a long time, is there anything they're doing for him for that?" Justin turned and asked the nurse.
She nodded as she stood up and walked over to them.
"Yes, there's a pad that we place around him that will get the circulation going in his arms and even his legs. We also carefully move him so that he doesn't get bed sores. It's done with the doctor's supervision so that we make sure we're moving him the correct way."
Britney kept staring at Chase.
"He's a determined one, though, that's for sure," the nurse said before sitting back down at her desk.
"His hair is getting too long. I was going to have it trimmed in the next few days," she said as she ran her fingers through his curls.
"Maybe we can trim it tomorrow," Justin said. He stood up straight and looked outside the door. "I'm going to go talk to security. I'll be back."
"Okay," Britney said, without looking up.
She continued to talk to Chase and caress his cheek.
"Would you like to feed him his bottle?" the nurse asked.
"Of course," Britney said, taking the bottle from her.
The nurse tilted the crib a little so the angle was easier for him to swallow.
"We feed him about one bottle a day, the rest is fed intravenously through the IV but the doctor wants to try to give him a little more substance...." the nurse explained.
He took the bottle readily and Britney enjoyed being able to feed her baby again. Justin came back in the room and sat down next to her.
"Was he hungry?" he asked.
"Yeah, he was starving. He's taking this quickly. I have to keep pulling it away from his mouth every so often so he doesn't get bubbles."
When Chase wasn't hungry anymore he pushed the nipple out of his mouth.
"Guess we're done with that, huh?" she asked as she took a cloth from a shelf and started to wipe his mouth. She leaned over and quickly kissed him on the lips.
"We better get going, your mom wants to come see Chase again before visiting hours are over," Justin said, touching Britney's back.
"Can I stay? I'll just wait for her to get here and I'll drive back with her," she said with pleading eyes.
Justin stared at her for a moment.
"The doctor said you still need your rest, Brit. I just don't want you to overdo it."
She sighed. "You're right. I just don't want to leave him," she said, looking back at Chase.
"I know you don't.....I don't either," he said, wrapping his arm around her back.
She sat for a little bit longer and waited until Chase fell asleep. She stood up and kissed him on the forehead and then turned to Justin.
"Okay...." she said.
He leaned over and kissed Chase in the same place.
"Bye," he said to the nurse.
"Bye," she said, looking up from her paperwork.
"My mama is going to be by in a little bit," Britney told her.
"Great," she said, nodding.
While they walked out the door, Britney stopped and gave Chase one last look. The tears were starting to form in her eyes so she let Justin lead her out of the room.
~*~
Later that night Britney and her mom were sitting on the sofas in the corner of the kitchen area sipping their cappuccinos.
"I just want to make the right decision," Britney said before taking a sip.
"You have to do what is in your heart," her mom said.
"This is something Justin and I need to completely agree on....."
"And you don't think you will?" Lynne asked, a little surprised by that.
"Well.....my heart is telling me that I want to go ahead with the surgery."
"And Justin?"
Britney stared straight ahead. "He's not sure yet...."
"I know the two of you will agree on this.....once you get more information from the doctors. You'll find out tomorrow morning, right?"
Britney nodded.
"Then you'll talk and it will all come together. You both want what's best for Chase," she said, touching Britney's knee.
"I know we do," Britney sighed. "I sometimes think......"
When Britney didn't continue, Lynne urged her.
"Think what?"
When Britney looked over at her mother, her eyes were filled with tears.
"What did he do to deserve this, mama?" she asked.
Lynne's mouth twitched. "Honey, you know he didn't do anything......this was God's plan for him. It will make him a stronger little boy and young man one day. He'll have to overcome more challenges and he's going to prove that he can....."
"I feel like I did something," Britney said, shaking her head.
Lynne reached over and pulled her daughter closer to her and tried to soothe her.
"Don't think that way. Think positive thoughts," she said before kissing the side of Britney's head.
Britney wiped her tears away from her cheeks. "I'm so tired of crying," she said.
They sat in silence for a little while while they both drank their coffee.
"I think I'm going to head up to bed, mama....my arm hurts a little," Britney said as she started to stand up.
She leaned down and hugged her mom goodnight.
"I love you," she told her.
"I love you," Lynne replied.
When Britney passed by Mackenzie's room she noticed that the light was still on and she heard Mackenzie and Justin's voices so she stopped in the doorway.
"......and pwease make Chase better. I miss him. Amen," Mackenzie said.
"Amen," Justin said, opening his eyes. "Okay.....up you go," he said as he helped Mackenzie into her big girl bed. He sat on the side and tucked the covers around her. "That was a very nice prayer."
Mackenzie only smiled and giggled. "I pway for baby Chase...."
"Yes you did and I'm sure God will hear that and He'll take good care of him for us."
"I pway for mommy too. I don't wanna see her cwy," she said sadly.
"Me either," he said kissing her forehead. "Now sweet dreams. I love you."
"Wuv you, daddy."
Britney had already said her goodnight to Mackenzie downstairs so she hurried up to her room so that she didn't disturb Mackenzie while she was trying to settle down.
"Hey," Justin said behind her in their room.
"Oh," she said, turning around quickly, she hadn't realized he was right behind her.
"Sorry," he chuckled, when he realized he startled her. "I caught a glimpse of you walking away from Mackenzie's room."
He walked toward her and held out his arms. She walked into them and wrapped her arm around his waist but stayed far enough away so she could still look at him.
"Yeah, I didn't want to bother you guys.....you seemed to have things under control," she winked at him.
"Did you hear her prayer?"
"Only the last part of it. It was very sweet," she said softly looking down at his chest.
"Yeah," he said, kissing the top of her head. "You okay?"
"My arm hurts a little. I took some pain medicine and I'm going to bed....."
Justin nodded. "Okay. I'll be up a little later."
She nodded and looked back up at him.
"Good night," she said, leaning up a little.
He leaned down and they kissed.
"I love you," he mumbled against her lips.
"I love you, too," she said before he left the room.
*pretty much made up my own diagnosis of Chase's condition and some of the medical terms and treatments