Careless Mistake
by Kelli
Part 68
August 2006.......
Justin held the door open for Britney as she walked into their home later that evening. They were greeted with wonderful smells from the kitchen.
"You okay?" Justin asked as Britney stopped at the banister of the stairs to catch her breath.
"Yeah. I just need a moment before I see mama and Mackenzie," she said, taking the hand he offered.
"If you want you can just go upstairs and I can bring Mackenzie up to see you."
She squeezed his hand. "No, I want to be down here. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelled mama's cooking."
Justin set her bag down and wrapped his arm around her. "Let's go, then."
They walked into the kitchen and found Lynne at the counter with Mackenzie standing on a stool next to her, helping her peel something.
"....and your mama is going to need your help taking care of him. I know you'll be a good big sister and do a good job of that," Lynne said to Mackenzie and then leaned over and kissed her cheek while Mackenzie nodded.
"We're home," Justin said softly so he wouldn't startle them.
Mackenzie's face lit up as she turned around and saw her mommy. Lynne helped her down and she ran over to Justin and Britney but Justin slowed her down by hooking his arm around her.
"You've got to be careful....mommy's still hurt a little, okay?"
Mackenzie stood up straight and nodded as she shyly looked at her mommy.
"Maybe if I sat down," Britney said looking at a nearby chair.
She walked over and sat down and Justin and Mackenzie followed. As soon as Britney was comfortable she held her arm out for Mackenzie who willingly went into it. She hugged her as tightly as she could.
"Justin, will you help her up on my lap?" Britney asked.
Justin bent down and put Mackenzie up on Britney's lap like she asked. Lynne was now standing next to Justin smiling down at her daughter and granddaughter.
Once Britney was finished placing kisses all over Mackenzie's face she looked up and smiled at her mom.
"My turn?" Lynne asked as she chuckled.
Britney nodded and smiled. "Yes, mama....I'm so glad to see you," she said, holding her arm out.
Lynne bent down and wrapped her daughter and granddaughter in a huge hug.
"Hey, no tears...." Lynne said when she let go.
"I'm just an emotional sap," Britney said, wiping the tears from her face.
"Mommy cwying," Mackenzie said, looking up at her mom.
"Yes....because I'm so happy to see you," she said rubbing her nose against Mackenzie's. "And to see grandma...."
"I happy to see gwandma too."
"Yes, I'm sure you were," Britney chuckled.
"You guys hungry?" Lynne asked with her hands resting on her hips.
"Starving," Britney answered.
"Yep. Anything I can do to help?" Justin asked. "Maybe finish what Mackenzie started?" he chuckled as he rubbed Mackenzie's head.
"I hep," Mackenzie said, trying to scoot down off of Britney's lap.
"Okay you finish helping grandma. You were doing such a good job too," Lynne smiled down at the little girl and then back and Britney and Justin as she walked back to the counter. "Why don't the two of you just get settled in a little and we'll call you when we're ready."
"Thanks, mama," Britney said.
"I'll go take the bag upstairs," Justin said as he started to leave the kitchen.
"I'll go with you," Britney said, holding her hand out for him to take.
When they got to their bedroom, Britney stood at the door and looked around.
"I know it's only been a couple of days for me but it feels like it's been a long time since I've been here," she said. Then she noticed the camera still hooked up to the TV and immediately looked away.
"I'm sorry, I probably should have put that away," Justin said, walking over to it and unplugging it from the TV.
Britney started to cry and walked over to the bed and sat down. She curled herself up on the bed and continued to cry. When Justin was finished putting the camcorder away he sat down next to her and pulled her close to him and rocked her back and forth while he kissed the top of her head.
"I'm so scared," she said in between sobs.
"Me too," he confessed.
They sat like this for a few minutes until Britney's crying subsided a little bit.
"What the doctor told us today......it's too much to think about. How are we going to decide?" she asked.
Before Britney left the hospital, Chase's doctors came down and talked with Justin and Britney about the test results and the possible solutions. There were many, some with good results and possible side affects and others were more safe but the outcome wasn't what they were hoping for.
"We'll get another opinion and sit down with the doctor's again. Anything we don't understand we'll ask them in detail about," he said.
She lifted her head so she could look at him.
"He might not walk," she said.
He kissed her forehead. "I know."
"He might not crawl again....."
Justin closed his eyes when she rested her cheek against his chest again.
"We have to believe, baby. We'll get the best surgeons and physical therapists to work on him. We'll pray and do whatever it takes." He almost sounded angry as he said this.
She wrapped her good arm around him tighter and pressed her face into the hollow of his neck.
"I love you. Have I told you that today?" she asked.
"You can tell me that as many times a day that you want. I'll never get tired of hearing it. It's like oxygen to me," he mumbled against her skin.
"I know we're lucky....."
"Yes, we are. I am. I could have lost....." He couldn't even finish his thoughts, he shook them off.
"But you didn't. We're both alive. I'm right here," she said, looking up at him again.
"In my arms and in our bed," he said with a soft smile. "I've missed this."
"Me too."
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Mommy....daddy!" Mackenzie yelled.
They both chuckled.
"I hope mama didn't let her come up those stairs by herself," Britney chuckled as she wiped the tears from her face.
Justin got up and answered the door.
"Well hey there angel."
"Gwandma says to come eat," she said, putting her hands on her hips.
"It's ready? Did you help?" Justin asked, picking her up and propping her on his hip.
She nodded as Britney walked over to them. She leaned up and kissed Mackenzie's arm.
"You're so pretty today," Britney told her.
Mackenzie nodded.
"You're supposed to say thank you," Justin chuckled.
"Fank you," she said quietly.
"You're welcome, but you always look pretty," Britney said.
"What's that, mommy?" Mackenzie asked, pointing to Britney's cast.
"It's called a cast. It's hard.....see?" Britney asked as she held the cast up for Mackenzie to touch.
Mackenzie touched it and nodded.
"My arm is hurt so this cast is on to protect it so that nothing else can hurt it. It's getting better in here."
"Better in there?" Mackenzie asked.
Britney nodded.
"Come on....let's go eat before I find a nice little belly to start munching on," Justin said before lifting up Mackenzie's top and blowing raspberries on her stomach, which made her giggle wildly. Britney chuckled as she followed them downstairs.
Britney walked up behind her mom in the kitchen and wrapped her arm around her.
"I love you mama. Thanks for being here," she said.
Lynne's hand covered Britney's arm. "You know I wouldn't be anywhere else. I'll be here as long as you need me. And I didn't just send Mackenzie upstairs by herself."
Britney laughed and kissed her mom's cheek while Justin got Mackenzie situated at the table.
They talked about everything but their dilemma with Chase. Once they were finished eating Mackenzie was ready to get down and play with her toys in the family room. Justin started to clear the table while Britney took her medicine.
"You go play with your daughter," Lynne said, swatting Justin's arm away.
"What? No way. You're not here to wait on us...." he insisted.
"Honey, this is why I came here. To help make things easier for you," she said, challenging him.
Britney sat at the table and smiled. "I won't argue with you," she chuckled.
"Okay....but thank you and you know you don't have to do this," Justin said before kissing his mother-in-law's cheek.
She patted his hand and watched them as they walked into the family room together.
Britney settled on the couch next to Justin and leaned into his side. She glanced over at Chase's playpen and shut her eyes as she tried to think only positive thoughts.
Justin felt her tense up and noticed the playpen in the corner of the room.
"I can move it...." he said as he started to stand up but Britney's hand stopped him.
"No. I'm fine. We can't keep hiding traces of Chase."
"Where Chase, mommy?" Mackenzie asked.
"Chase is still at the hospital getting his boo-boo's fixed," Justin said.
"When he come home?" she asked.
"We hope very soon," Britney said. "When we say our prayers tonight we'll ask God to help his boo-boos get better really fast, okay?"
Mackenzie nodded as she looked at her stuffed animal in her hand.
When Lynne was finished cleaning up she joined them in the family room.
"Okay....thank you," Justin said before hanging up the phone.
"Any news?" Lynne asked as she took a sip of her coffee.
"No change. He's sleeping right now."
"I'd like to go see him tomorrow," Lynne said.
"Me too," Mackenzie said.
"Honey they won't let you because you're too young. Only grown ups can go," Britney explained.
Mackenzie's lips went into pout mode and then she slowly started to cry.
"I wanna see Chase," she said while sobbing.
"Oh here we go," Justin said as he got up and picked her up so he could sit her down with them on the couch. "You can't always have your way," he said.
"I wanna go," she said again. Her little face was getting red.
"I wish you could," Britney said.
Mackenzie started to kick at whatever came near her and when she bumped Britney's cast Justin sat Mackenzie on the couch away from Britney.
"Hey....no kicking," he said. "You are going to hurt mommy, do you want that?" he asked sternly.
She started to cry more and threw herself down on the couch.
Justin rubbed his forehead and then leaned his head against the back of the couch.
"She was like this the whole time we were in New York," he moaned.
"It's the age," Lynne said.
"Mackenzie...." Britney said. "Stop crying and come here."
It took her a few seconds but she stopped her sobbing and she sat up. She looked over at Britney and then at Justin before she slid down off of the couch and walked around Justin to stand in front of Britney.
"Come here," Britney said, patting the spot on the couch next to her.
Mackenzie climbed up and then got onto Britney's lap. Britney wrapped both of her arms around her daughter and pulled her close to her. She would occasionally kiss the top of her head.
"I missed you while you were gone. Did you have fun with grandma while you were with daddy in New York?" She was using a soothing tone with her.
Mackenzie nodded.
"Yes," she said. She sounded so pathetic.
Britney started to rock and then hum a little as she gently rubbed her leg with her good hand. She kept this up for a few minutes and then she mouthed to Justin to see if she was sleeping yet. He carefully got up and looked around Mackenzie since her back was to him.
"A little longer," he whispered, "and I'll be able to take her up."
Britney nodded and continued to rock and hum. After a few more minutes Justin took Mackenzie upstairs, when he rejoined the women in the family room he found Britney in her mom's arms crying. He took a step back and decided to give them a few moments together. This was hard on them emotionally.....on all of them. But they needed to be strong and make the right decisions coming up.
He moved into the hallway a little and rested his forehead against the wall as he braced his hands against it above his head. He closed his eyes and tried to think positive thoughts.
That's how Britney found him. She was going to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water and she stopped when she saw his figure against the wall. She touched his back and then slid in between him and the wall. He held her so tight and crushed her against the wall as they both contemplated the future of their son together.