Careless Mistake
by Kelli
Part 47
Mid July 2005.......
"No Britney, let's do it again," the director said into the speaker.
She was sitting on a stool watching the video monitor as she tried to get her lines down for the voice-over.
She bit her lower lip because it was the fifth time redoing this one line.
"Do you want more emotion in it?" she asked, looking up into the booth.
"No....less emotion."
She rubbed her temple and nodded.
"Less emotion," she mumbled to herself.
When the director yelled action, she tried her lines again.
"Cut," he yelled. "Britney, you're going to have to remove yourself as a mother right now. I know those are the emotions flowing through you as you read this line, but you're going to have to act like a single woman who doesn't want children."
Again, Britney bit her lower lip and she nodded.
"I know, I'm trying."
"Take yourself back a couple of years ago," he smirked.
"I've always wanted children, even a couple of years ago," she said, staring at him blankly through the glass window.
"No, I mean the single part....no children, no commitments."
She scooted up on her chair and took a sip of water. What was her life like back then? God, it seemed so long ago when she didn't have Mackenzie or Justin in her life. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what she'd be like right now if she hadn't gotten pregnant. There was definitely a possibility that she and Justin would have gotten back together but who knows if it would have been by now.
"Ready?" he asked.
She opened her eyes and nodded.
She read the line again and nailed it.
"Cut! That was great," the director said, giving her a thumbs up.
She smiled and leaned back a little.
"We're going to give your voice a break, Britney. Twenty minutes?"
"Sounds good," she said, smiling.
She swung her legs around on the stool so that her back was to the window into the booth. She took a deep breath and stared at the floor. That kind of scared her, the way she dug deep down and found her single, childless self again. It wasn't so bad when she was filming this movie because she had Justin and Mackenzie to go home to every night. These past couple of weeks, while she did her voice-overs, Mackenzie and Justin were on the East Coast on Justin's tour. All she was going home to was an empty house.
Slowly she got up from the stool and made her way into the sound room. She got a cup of coffee and a bottled water and left the room to check her voicemail.
She held the phone up to her ear as she took a sip of the coffee.
"Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.....ma ma home." Britney's smile was so big as she listened to her daughter.
"Yes, mommy's at home right now. Say you miss her," Justin said in the background.
"Miss wu. Wuv wu mommy."
Britney smiled as she tilted her head back until the back of her head hit the wall she was leaning against. She was trying to fight back the tears.
"I love you too, baby," she whispered back, even though she was listening to a message.
"Awwww, she's going to love that, angel," Justin said in the background again. "Hey baby....Mackenzie and I just wanted to leave you a message and tell you that we miss you and we love you," he said, taking over the phone. "I'll call you after the show tonight. Only three more days. Bye."
"Three days," she sighed as she ended the call.
The next message was from her mother who was just checking in to see how her time in LA was going.
She deleted the message and downed the rest of the coffee so she could throw away the cup. When her hand was free she dialed her mother's number and started to walk down the hall.
"Hello?"
"Hey mama," she said.
"Hi sweetie, how are you doing?"
"I'm okay. How are you doing?"
She unscrewed the top off of the bottle of water.
"Just peachie. Your sister's at her friends house so I have a moment to just sit and read. It's nice."
Britney smiled. "Hmmm, it sounds it."
"So, how's the movie stuff going?"
"It's going." She takes a swig from the bottle.
"Aww honey, I doubt it's that bad...."
"No, it's actually going well, I think. I just get so distracted."
"You miss your daughter and your husband....it's only natural."
"I know it is.....it's just hard to work when I'm missing them so much. You know what's even harder?" she slightly chuckled.
"What's that?" Lynne asked.
"Trying to play a part of a single woman who doesn't want children when you're missing your daughter so terribly much," she sighed, closing her eyes again before taking another sip of water.
"Is that what you had to work on today?"
"Yeah, there was one scene where my character was being very boisterous about her singleness that I had to do today. I had to dig really deep for that one," she chuckled.
"I'm sure you were wonderful. Why don't you give them a call?"
Britney looked at her watch. "J's gonna call me after his show tonight. He's probably doing sound check right now."
"Oh okay. I always forget about the schedules. That was nice of Lynne to be there to watch Mackenzie."
"Yeah....we can always count on our mama's."
"Of course you can."
She could hear the smile in her mom's voice.
"Well honey, I won't keep you. You on a break right now?" Lynne asked.
"Yeah. I'm going to go grab something to eat."
"Okay, you take care. I love you."
"I love you too. Give Jamie Lynn and big hug for me."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
Britney ended the call and finished the bottle of water before heading back to the room. She stopped by the catering table and grabbed a quick sandwich before returning to the booth to read over the rest of her lines for the day.
"Hey Brit," her co-star, Matt, said sitting down next to her.
"Oh, hi Matt," she said with a partially full mouth so she covered it with her hand. When she swallowed she continued. "I didn't know you were going to be here today."
"They wanted me to re-do a couple of things I re-did a couple of weeks ago," he chuckled. "So, how's it going?" he asked, nodding toward the script on her lap.
"Pretty good, I think. I always hate this part, though. I wish our voices came through clear the first time around," she chuckled. "I hate trying to recreate the moment."
"I know what you mean."
"Britney....you ready?" the director asked.
"Sure."
She smiled at Matt and stood up, taking her script with her to the studio where she sat down and put the headphones on.
When it was time she watched the screen and started to say her lines. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Matt standing at the door, watching her through the window and saying his lines with her. She was very intrigued by this so she turned her head and watched him. They continued to do the lines like this for a few minutes before the director had to stop her.
"Britney, I really need you to watch the monitor so you can get the words to match your mouth on there," he chuckled.
"Oh...." Britney chuckled. "Sorry, I got distracted," she said, sticking her tongue out at Matt.
She could see him chuckling before he sat down.
"Come on sweetie, you should be so tired by now," Lynn said, bouncing Mackenzie up and down as she rested on her hip.
Mackenzie wouldn't stop crying as the two of them waited on the bus for Justin to finish his set and come join them. Usually by now she was fast asleep in her bunk.
"Mommmmyyyyy," she cried while digging her face into Lynn's shoulder. As soon as it felt like her eyes were going to close, she'd jerk her head back up and start crying harder.
"Your daddy will be here any minute now," Lynn said, trying to press Mackenzie's cheek to hers.
Then the door to the bus came open and Justin appeared.
"Hey....what's wrong?" he asked, walking over to his mother and crying daughter. He put his hand on Mackenzie's back as he gave a concerned look at his mom.
As soon as Mackenzie realized her daddy was there, she turned to him and held out her arms for him to pick her up. So he did.
"Baby, I'm all stinky," he said, taking her from his mom.
"She just won't go to sleep. She misses Britney."
"I know," Justin said, trying to rock Mackenzie back and forth.
Once in his arms, she calmed down a little. She studied the chain he had around his neck as she sniffled.
The door to the bus closed and Justin and Lynn took a seat so they wouldn't loose their balance once the bus started to leave.
"This is the longest she's been away from Britney...."
Lynn nodded.
"Oh shoot....I told Brit I'd call her after the show but I don't want to upset her. I was hoping Mac would be asleep."
He leaned over and kissed Mackenzie's forehead. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and smiled at him. Her eyes were still watery.
"Will you let daddy take a shower?" he asked her.
She just stared at him.
"Let's see if she will," he said, standing up.
He leaned over and tried to hand her back over to Lynn but Mackenzie hung on to him and started to scream so he sat back down and rubbed her back.
"Shhhhh, it's okay I'll just stay sweaty," he said, rocking her from side to side. "Maybe the movement of the bus will make her sleepy."
"Let's hope," Lynn smiled. "I'm going to make myself something to eat. You hungry?"
"Yeah, I'll take a sandwich, thanks."
Mackenzie quit crying again and pulled back to continue looking at Justin's chain. She would take the cross and start sliding it up and down the chain.
"Don't do that, sweetie, you might break it," he said, holding her hand still.
She pulled her hand away and started to look at his diamond stud in his ear. She leaned over and would press it. Since she was so close to his mouth, he started to hum and would rub her back.
She kept looking at his earring but her eyes would get droopy because of the combination of the motion of the bus and Justin humming to her. He could always get her to go to sleep this way. She let her head fall to his shoulder but kept her eye on his ear and her finger on the earring but Justin stood up and walked to the back of the bus. There he gently bounced her up and down while he walked around his room. This room reminded him of Britney. Her scent was still here.
"Your mommy will be home in a few days, angel. I know you miss her," he said. "I miss her too."
He tried to peak down at her face but her eyes were still open. She was close though.
"Da da," she said before yawning.
"I'm right here."
He sat down on the bed and grabbed the remote and started to flip through channels, keeping the volume low so it didn't startle her. When he stood up again he walked back into the hallway and opened the drape that hid her bunk. He moved a couple of her stuffed animals around and started to lay her down in the bunk but she grabbed onto his neck and started to cry again.
"Oh Mackenzie," he sighed.
"Here," Lynn said, handing him a plate with a sandwich.
"Thanks, mom. I'll just take her into my room and see if she falls asleep laying next to me."
"Okay sweetie, good night."
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Good night."
She kissed Mackenzie's head before he walked back into his bedroom.
"You want to lay down next to daddy?" he asked, setting his plate down on the bed.
She nodded against his shoulder.
Once he was situated he laid her down on the bed and propped her up so she was right next to him. He took a few pillows and put them on the other side of her so she didn't roll off the bed.
"There."
She rested her head against his leg as he sat back against a pillow and started to eat his sandwich.
"Ma ma?" he heard her whimper.
"We'll see her in a couple of days, I promise," he said, patting her back.
The next morning Britney woke up with a wicked hangover. She threw the cover over her eyes to help keep the sun from blinding her.
"Shit, what time is it?" she asked herself as she rolled over to look at the clock. "Oh God, I'm going to be late."
When she sat up quickly, she felt dizzy so she laid back down and felt around for her cell phone which she hoped was on the nightstand. Yep, she was in luck. She held it in front of her face and scrolled down until she found the director's number and then pressed the green button to dial it. She rubbed her temple while she waited for him to answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey it's Britney."
"Oh, you don't sound too good."
"I woke up with a terrible headache. I think I'm going to be a little late. I'll take a couple of aspirin and hope that helps."
"Okay. We'll try to get some other stuff done while we wait for you," he said.
"Thanks and I'm sorry."
When she hung up she shook her head for lying to him. Then she realized she had a message.
"Hey Brit, it's me. Where are you? I know I called later than I thought but it's still not too late there for you. Anyway, I really needed to hear your voice tonight but I guess this will have to do," he sighed. "I miss you and I love you. Call me whenever you get this. Bye."
She sat up slowly this time. He was going to get so mad.....