Careless Mistake
by Kelli
Part 16
Late July 2004...
Britney greeted the woman who's interviewing for the nanny position, at her hotel room door.
"Hi," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Britney."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Paula," she said, returning the handshake.
The women walk into Britney's suite in Atlanta.
"Thanks for coming out here...it would have just taken forever for me to get out to LA to see you," Britney said as they both took a seat on the couch.
"Oh it's no problem. I don't mind traveling. I talked to your husband and he explained everything," she said sweetly.
"Justin? Oh, he's not my husband," Britney chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed. I probably shouldn't assume these days...."
"Well, it's a strange situation anyway. So, I looked over your file and you've done this a few times with people who travel on the road."
"Yes, I think I'm a favorite with the traveling Broadway acts," she chuckles. "Your name tends to get passed by word of mouth. Once you find someone who is willing to travel that much and has experience I guess that makes you a find."
"Well, that's what caught our eye," Britney said. "I've gotten a couple of recommendations....both were glowing."
She smiled.
Mackenzie started to cry a little, both women glanced over at the baby monitor.
"Is that her 'I'm not tired anymore cry or her I'm hungry cry'?" Paula asked.
"That would be the 'pay attention to me' cry," Britney chuckled. "She shouldn't be hungry," she said glancing at her watch.
"May I?" Paula asked.
"Oh sure....she's in that room there," Britney said, pointing to the closed door.
Paula stood up and walked into the other room while Britney waited patiently. It was hard for her to not jump up and see what she was doing, so she smoothed her skirt out over her legs and waited. Soon Paula brought Mackenzie in, who's cries were dying down. She sat down next to Britney again and Mackenzie reached out for her so Britney started to lean over to take her but Paula shook her head.
"No, she needs to learn that if you're busy, she needs to stay with me."
When Mackenzie realized that Britney wasn't going to hold her, she started to cry again. She kept staring at Britney with the saddest look on her face. Britney had to look away and collect herself before looking at Paula again.
"Well, that's all well and good when she gets to know you a little better.....but since she doesn't and we don't know if this will work out yet, I'll take my daughter, thank you," she said as sweetly as she could, reaching over for Mackenzie again.
As soon as Mackenzie was in her mommy's arms she snuggled up against her and stopped crying.
"I understand," Paula smiled. "Mr. Timberlake mentioned that he wasn't sure about the length of my employment."
"Yeah well, pretty soon our schedules might actually work so that we have time together. It's just these next couple of months that are going to be hard."
"I see," she nodded.
"So, that would have to be known right away....this will be a short term job."
"May I make a suggestion?" Paula asked.
"Sure."
"What are you doing right now? Mr. Timberlake is obviously not here right now and he mentioned something about starting rehearsals to me so it sounds like he'll be in LA for awhile..."
Britney nodded.
"And you're still traveling. How have you been managing this whole time?"
Britney bit her lower lip. "Well, we shuffle things around a lot. My assistant watches her or even sometimes my bodyguard," she chuckled. "Or Justin's mom or my mom....."
Paula gently smiled at her. "Then maybe that can keep working for you for just a few more weeks. I don't see the need to bring someone else in on the picture when it's not going to be a long term thing..."
Britney let out her breath. "That's what I've been saying.....Justin wanted to try, though. It's nothing against you, I'm sure you're a great nanny, I just have a problem with feeling like I can't raise my own child."
"Well, you do have a busy schedule that makes it harder for you to be with her as much as I'm sure you'd like," she said, looking down at Mackenzie, who was staring up at her with wide eyes. "She's a cutie. And it's not like you can just put her in a day care like most nine to five mom's can."
"I know....it's different, I just can't help the way I feel."
"It's understandable," she said, touching Britney's hand.
Britney smiled at her. "Well, I guess there's nothing else to really discuss."
Paula smiled. "I'm glad I could make the trip out here. I have a sister who lives out here who I'm having dinner with tonight."
"Oh, that's nice. I'm glad we picked a city where you have relatives," she chuckled as the two women stood up and walked toward the door.
"You have a beautiful daughter who I can tell both of her parents love very much. She's a lucky little girl," she said, touching Mackenzie's cheek.
Britney smiled. "Thank you.....we're very lucky to have her."
Paula smiled, said good bye and left.
"Okay Mackenzie, what are we going to tell daddy?" she asked, bouncing her up and down.
"Maybe she should stay out here," Justin said over the phone that night.
"What?"
Britney was laying in bed on her bus that night after her show and had decided to call Justin and talk to him about her decision.
"Well I'll be in one place and my mom's here....we could find someone else to watch her in the day if my mom can't watch her..."
"NO!" she yelled. "You're taking her away from me?"
Justin rubbed his forehead. "I'm not taking her away. How do you think I feel when you're gone with her?"
"It's not the same..."
"Oh give me a fucking break. Listen to yourself, Brit. Why isn't it the same? Because I'm the dad? I love her just as much as you do," he snapped back.
"I know.....but....."
She didn't know what to say, all she knew is that she felt panic when he suggested that she be away from Mackenzie.
"It's going to have to happen sometime. When we're finally settled in LA and you have to go to New York for a weekend or something, you can't keep lugging the baby everywhere with you, she'd have to stay here.....with me."
Britney didn't answer him.
"Brit?"
"What, Justin?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
"I think it's the only way.....think about it."
"My mom's coming out next week and my brother will be out a few days after that.....we'll work it out," she said, starting to cry.
Justin closed his eyes and counted to five.
"You sound exhausted," he said.
"I am tired....this is hard doing this by myself...."
"You don't think I don't know that? I was there with you for a few days of it, remember? Even with me there your shows were harder for you to do physically because of Mackenzie...."
"I'm not giving her up," she said, crying harder.
Next thing he knew the phone went dead.
"Shit," he yelled.
Lynn walked into the family room where her son was sitting. His head was resting against the back of the couch and his eyes were closed.
"Problems?" she asked.
"Yes," he said, annoyed.
"Okay...." she said before turning around. Before she got out of the room, he continued.
"She doesn't want a nanny.....period. So I suggested that I keep Mackenzie until her tour is over...."
"Ohhhh," Lynn replied.
"Yeah well she acted like it was a custody battle and that I was going to take the baby away from her....why doesn't she get it, mom?" he asked, throwing his arms up into the air and letting them fall back down on the couch.
Lynn sat down next to her son. "There's a certain bond a mother has with her child...."
"And what about the father/daughter bond?" he asked, interrupting her.
Lynn held up her hand to let her finish. "We carry our children for nine months and I think the bond is even stronger when you breast feed because there's more nurturing involved...."
"So you're saying it is different?"
She shrugged. "A little."
"But what if this is better for Mackenzie? Hell, it's probably better for Britney. Mom you should have seen her, she was so tired after every show...more than she used to be. Being a single mom on the road and trying to do an hour and a half show isn't easy and I don't want Mackenzie or Britney suffering because of it...."
Lynn placed her hand over Justin's.
"I know, but this is something she needs to realize on her own."
Justin pinched the bridge of his nose. "I miss them so much. I don't even know the next time I'm going to see them...."
Two days went by without Justin and Britney talking. Because Justin wanted to make sure Mackenzie was all right, he'd call Fe and talk to her.
"Justin, just call Britney, she'll tell you how Mackenzie's doing," Fe whispered so that Britney couldn't overhear her.
"Fe, the ball is in her court. When we got back together this time, I swore to myself I wasn't going to apologize when it wasn't my fault. She's got to learn."
"I know, Justin. She's hurting real bad, I can tell. She tries to hide it but I can hear her crying at night or in her dressing room."
Justin sighed and closed his eyes.
"Talk her into calling me, would ya?" he chuckled.
"You don't think I haven't tried?"
"Fe, can you come here a second?" Britney asked from the other room.
"The princess has called...I have to go. Justin, take care of yourself."
"I will Fe. Thanks for letting me bug you."
"Anytime," she said before they hung up. "What is it Boo?" she asked going into the room with Britney and Mackenzie.
"Watch," Britney said. She and Mackenzie were sitting on the floor and Britney was holding out two different colored balls. "Mackenzie, take the red ball."
Mackenzie sat there and looked at both objects in her mommy's hands and picked one of them.
"See how smart she is," Britney said, picking Mackenzie up and giving her a big kiss on her cheek.
"Wow...how many times did she get it right?" Fe asked, squatting down next to them.
"Three out of four," Britney chuckled. "I even switched hands. It might not mean anything but I think she's smart." She kissed her cheek again.
"With her mommy and daddy's genes how can she not be?" she asked, standing up again and grabbing her planner.
"Who were you on the phone with?" Britney asked her as she settled Mackenzie in her lap.
"Since when have you started to be so nosy?" she asked, flipping the pages of her planner.
Britney shrugged. "I don't know, you just seemed so secretive about it...."
"Have you called Justin yet?" Fe asked, not looking up from her book.
"No..." she said looking down at her daughter. "Has he called me? No...."
There was a knock on the dressing room door so Fe walked over and answered it.
"Heyyyyy," Fe said, hugging the woman who walked in.
Britney's face lit up when she saw her mama. Mackenzie started to bounce up and down a little when she recognized her grandma.
"There's my precious angel," Lynne said, taking Mackenzie away from Britney and kissing all over her face.
Mackenzie started to babble and Lynne kept watching her and nodding her head. "Oh you don't say....well, isn't that something?"
Britney stood up.
"How are you sweetie?" Lynne asked her as she took her free arm and wrapped it around her daughter's shoulders.
Britney wrapped both of her arms around her mom's waist and hugged tightly.
"I'm okay," she said, pulling back slowly because Mackenzie had a hold of her hair.
"Okay doesn't sound that okay...." she said as they started walking toward the couch.
"You want anything Lynne?" Fe asked.
Lynne shook her head. "No thanks, Felicia."
"You Britney?"
"No, I'm cool thanks."
"I'll look over the schedules in here if you need me," she said, taking her planner with her into the other room.
"So, what's going on?" Lynne asked.
"Justin hasn't called me in two days, mama. Two whole days," she said, resting her cheek against her hand.
Lynne sat there and contemplated what to say to her daughter.
"Britney, I told you how I felt about this the other night when you called me," Lynne said shaking her head. She started to bounce Mackenzie up and down on her knee.
"Why do you think he hasn't called?"
Lynne glanced over at her and shook her head. "Who hung up on who?"
Britney looked down. "I hung up on him," she mumbled.
"Uh huh and who accused who of trying to take the baby away?"
"Mama, you're supposed to support me on this," she said, her voice breaking.
"I told you I wasn't going to get in the middle of it. I definitely have my opinions on your conversation but I'm not butting in. You two created this child, now you need to learn to take responsibility for her," she said before giving Mackenzie another kiss.
"Yes, mama," Britney said. She started to play with a string that was hanging off of the blanket, laying over the couch.
"You look tired. I'm going to take this precious thing for a little stroll around the venue and say hi to everyone so you can get some rest," Lynne said as she stood up.
"Don't forget to take Mo...."
Lynne glanced back over her shoulder and gave her an 'I already knew that' look and then disappeared into the other room.
"Fe, Mackenzie and I are taking a walk, would you like to join us?" Lynne asked.
"Sure, I'd love to," she said, putting her pen down and joining Lynne at the door.
Once they found Mo they started to walk around.
"So, what's going on between our love birds?" Lynne asked.
Fe rolled her eyes. "Britney's being stubborn again and this time, Justin's just not going to give in....can't say that I blame him."
"I hear ya. So you've talked to him?" She waved to a couple of the guys from the crew.
"Yeah, he called me yesterday and today, making sure Mackenzie was fine."
"Have you told Brit that you've talked to him?"
Fe shook her head as they rounded a corner. "No, he asked me not to."
Lynne smiled. "So Britney thinks that Justin has gone two days without any kind of contact. No wonder she's so miserable."
"Exactly," Fe laughed.
Britney flopped onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She missed Justin so much that her heart was hurting. She missed hearing his voice. Slowly she reached over for her phone. She held it up over her head and flipped through the numbers in memory. When she got to his name she stared at it.
He was probably at rehearsals right now. She could just leave him a voicemail.
She pressed send and waited for his message.
"Hello?" a very out-of-breath Justin answered.
"Oh....hi, I thought you'd be in rehearsals...." she said shyly.
"I am but I have my phone close by in case a certain someone called," he said.
She could tell he was taking a drink of water and walking.
"Oh."
She wasn't quite sure what to say now.
"So.....how are you?" he asked.
"I'm fine. Aren't you going to ask how our daughter is?"
He chuckled. "I already know, I called Fe."
"And she didn't tell me?"
"I asked her not to. You think I'd actually go two whole days without knowing how my little girl was doing?" he asked, sounding disappointed.
"Well I wondered," she said softly.
"So, are you getting anymore rest?"
"My mama's here now...I'll be fine."
"Until she leaves...."
"Then Bryan will be here," she snaps.
"Brit," he sighs.
"I don't want to start in on this again...." She flipped over to her side.
"Me either but my opinion of the matter hasn't changed."
She was silent.
"Brit?"
"What about a long weekend....I was looking at my schedule and I'll be in New York from a Thursday to a Tuesday and you know my schedule is crazy when I'm there...."
"Well why couldn't Bryan watch her then?"
"Well he works, I cant' have him take off more...."
"True....so what are you suggesting?"
"Can you come to New York and get her? That way we can see each other and then you can take her back. As soon as I'm done in New York I have two days off, I could fly to LA and bring her back to wherever my next city is."
He smiled. "I like that idea."
"I won't like it when she's away though," she sniffed.
"I know....I don't like it either. How do you think I feel when I close my eyes and picture my two girls all the way across the country without me?" he whispered.
"The same way we feel...."
"I love you."
She sighed. "I love you too."
"Are you sorry for hanging up so rudely on me the other day?"
She smiled. "Yes Justin....I'm sorry."
That word alone made him smile. "I forgive you."
"Oh Justin! You'll never believe what I taught Mackenzie today...." she said excitedly and proceeded to tell him about the colored balls.
